Miracle

 This is a post from my Journal dated September 20, 2014.

What a beautiful morning! Can you believe that last night in the middle of the night and this morning at 9 the most miraculous thing happened?! Last night as I was trying to get comfortable in bed and fall asleep I rolled over on my stomach. Great I thought. I felt like I was laying on a golf ball right at the bottom of my right breast. It's gotten bigger I thought. I've got to make sure I go this week and have a mammogram.

For about a year there has been a massive lump...not solid, under my right breast. I kept thinking I'd get around to having it checked. However, this past few months now I could even feel it when I laid on my stomach or when my bra was pressing on it. Last night though, man. It felt like it had a major "growth spurt!"  I said a quick prayer to God that He would remove it.

I finally fell asleep and woke up again about 4 in the morning- it woke me up as I became aware of being uncomfortable laying on my stomach. I prayed again, "Lord, please, You can just reach in an grab it and throw it as far as the east is from the west. Please, take it away, Father." Then I fell asleep.

I woke up at 9 still sleepy. Scott was still in bed, too. So I stretched out and rolled over onto my stomach and laid there...comfortably. In a few minutes my eyes popped open. Comfortably? Really?

I quickly rolled over onto my back and felt the place it had been-gone.  Gone! Did you hear me?

I got out of bed and went to the bathroom feeling for it as I walked. The whole breast felt different-smaller! PRAISE GOD!!! Now I want to have a mammogram-just to hear them say it-There's nothing.

"There's no Drama in Church!"

Over the past year our church that I have been going to for 42 years with the same Pastor, has been in a struggle. I don't want to go into details heck I don't really even know all the details. I just know that it's all wrong.

Thinking back to when we were a small congregation in Ft. Worth, we were family. All those people there were my family. I played softball on the youth teams, went to camp, South Dakota, Falls Creek Camp where I asked Jesus into my heart. The teachers, Pastor, Pastors Wife, Deacons, and Congregation were all such wonderful examples of the Christian life to me.

I remember being at one of the fellowship dinners that us Baptist are so well known for. Sitting there eating this heavenly food with my Christian brothers and sisters- it was so easy for God to show me how wonderful Heaven will be!

Then change set in. We moved to a new location in a different city to be able to grow and spread the Word to more people. Our Pastor, a great man and the best teaching pastor I have ever heard, suddenly was no longer Brother Such and Such...he became Dr. Such and Such. (I liked Brother Such and Such much better!)

Our core congregation suddenly started dropping off as sin infected the best of Gods children.

The goal was to reach more people, bring more people in, yet those there were no longer taken care as family are.

It's like we all, that's right, I am SO not to be left out of those that were infected with sin, were no longer loved by each other but judged by each other.

It all boiled down at the end of last year. So many different stories, actions, and bitter tales floating around.

Frustration filled the "worship" time. I had kept some of the information about what was going on to myself away from my husband, and teenage daughter, 16, because I wanted them to still be able to worship in the worship center. But the time came that I had to tell them what I knew, right or wrong.

My teenage daughter seemed to sum it up with her reaction. " Drama? In church? NO! There is not suppose to be drama in church! It's at school, I hear it with my friends, it's on television...but it is not supposed to be in church!"

From the mouths of babes...I couldn't agree more. Didn't we go there to praise our God and Jesus our saviour? What happened to them?

This is why my family goes, we are so grateful for Jesus' sacrifice, and for God...a God that gave up his only Son to save us...boy do we ever need it, and boy do we ever need to praise and worship them for it.

I am the Clay

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Today I was looking out my window enjoying this beautiful, sunny January day we're having here in Texas, as I washed the dirty dishes in my kitchen sink. I watched as the red tip bushes in my backyard swayed back and forth from the winds gentles nudging. I smiled at the sight of our ever- so- faithful, yet spastic beagle, Buckeye...I did tell you I'm married to a yankee didn't I? (Guess where he's from by our dogs name!) Anyway, little Buckeye was darting back and forth from one end of the yard to the other in a streak of brown and black blur. Suddenly, out of no where the old church hymn Have Thine Own Way, Lord by Adelaide A. Pollard, popped into my little noggin.

Actually, it was the verse "Thou art the potter, I am the clay! Mold me and make me After thy will, While I am waiting, Yielded and still" that popped up. I had this mental picture of God carefully and tenderly at the "potters wheel" molding me (as I pray every night that He would do) into the Christian woman He wants me to be. I saw myself standing by His side watching like a gleeful child giggling, clapping her hands together, jumping up and down in eager anticipation as she watched her father put together something she had so longed to receive. Then I saw myself step in and "help" doing this and that to His work. He said nothing just stepped back with the patience of a god, or at least the patience my God is known for and let me do my thing- which was mess up his work that I asked him to do in the first place!

I get so impatient because I want to already be this Christian woman, yet, how much faster would God be able to do His work and "mold" me if I would just stay out of the way! And why the heck is it so dern hard?

Oh, I know it's the "curse," sin, human nature, free will and all that- it just felt good to rant and rave for a second. So I just have to be patient and wait to see the end product "when the roll is called up yonder" 'cause I will be there and finally complete.